The simple secret to great sex

Oct 23, 2015, 17:29 IST

The female Viagra has been on pharmacy shelves for a long time. But Addyi, or flibanserin, is not the product we’ve been promised. Critics have argued that the drug itself hasn’t actually been proven to be effective, or that its side effects, which include low blood pressure, nausea and dizziness, cancel out its purported benefits.

But doctors say we don’t need any kind of medication to get us in the mood. In a recent study published in the journal Fertility And Sterility, researchers from the Medical University of Vienna, Austria, found that open communication with your partner was just about as likely to improve women’s sex lives as a hormonal treatment.


Good, old-fashioned communication is the key. And it is not that we don't know this. And still, we always falter and fail to use this one simple little secret to our benefits. If you haven’t paid attention so far, take notes.

Nothing to be ashamed of: Know this and believe this that asking for what you want in bed is not shameful.

You and your feelings matter: The first step toward making your sex life hotter is accepting that your feelings about sex matter, and that they matter enough to be explicit about them.

The key: If you are going to address this subject and tell your partner what you like and don’t like about sex, be upfront and honest. This may seem like common sense but there are many people who only bring things up half-way before shutting up.

Do not worry about differences: Talk about your experience, your thoughts, your feelings. Respect differences in your sexual interests. You do not need to agree to do any particular activity, but neither should you dismiss his stated preferences out of hand.

If you don’t open up, you’re likely to have sex that you don’t enjoy. And that IS a crime.